A Small Revelation

*I hope that this post makes sense. The big old jumble of expression swimming around in my head may be coming out as nonsensical banter.*

Lately I’ve found that time for myself is few and far between. I’ve just kept pushing along because with three little children, isn’t that how it should be? Isn’t it normally for a stay at home mother to spend all day, everyday, caring for other people and doing housework? Shouldn’t I always have happy, well entertained children, dinner on the table, and a clean house, and a smile on my face when my husband gets home from work. Well, I’ll tell you, that can only work for so long. Mommy gets overwhelmed and exhausted. I can’t believe that I’ve been trying to be the perfect little house-wife/mother/everything. That is just ridiculous!

Here’s the deal. I’m a stay at home mother, a child care provider for one sweet little girl, and a (very) small diaper business owner. That is enough for a full time job in itself. I know that my husband works outside the home (7 days a week right now, ugh). It has made sense that I take care of the cooking and housework, since I am at home, and he is tired when he comes home.

Let me clarify this, he is not some pig of a man that will not do housework and expects dinner ready when he gets home. My husband is a great man, a loving and caring man that wants me to be happy. I have just not asked for the help that I should. It’s been my opinion, not his, that he shouldn’t be asked to do too much after working for 8+ hours. Now, this also doesn’t mean that he doesn’t do anything. From the time he gets home at night we are busy, busy, busy! With three little boys, there is a lot to keep up with. He often takes care of cleaning up dinner, or bathing the boys. There is just so much more to do!!!

Now, back to that sentence about working 8+ hours. I realized the other day that I work as much as he does, I just happen to do it at home. In January of 2010, I made a resolution to make time for myself by blogging often. And, I did it…last year. You can see from my post count lately that that didn’t happen this year. I don’t know what happened in the last few months, but I just haven’t been able to find any little moments to sit and type, or sit and sew for that matter. Perhaps it has something to do with my A and L running about and getting into everything.

I need to find the time again. While first and foremost, I will always be a mother, I am so much more. I need to spend more time caring for myself and giving myself the time do what I like, like blogging for example. My favorite, most often used mantra is “loving myself by caring for my mind, body, and soul, makes myself and my family happier and healthier.” I find more wisdom in this every day.

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