My time as a breastfeeding mother of twins has come to an end. I knew it was coming as my little self weaners lost more and more interest, but I was really trying to hang on. I know how the majority of people I know feel about extended breastfeeding. I’m on the other side of the fence on this topic with, it seems, most everyone…so I tend to avoid it. Hi, My name is Jennifer and I’m a closet extended breastfeeding supporter. I suspect that while I avoid the topic, if you really know me, you had your suspicions. I write an eco-friendly/ attachment parenting blog for goodness sake.
I really wanted to make it longer, 18 months…24 months… whatever my boys wanted to do. I just didn’t expect them to end at 13 1/2. Technically 12 1/2 for L, he lost interest once we started a high calorie diet for him. I really don’t know why it hits me so hard. I should be proud. I nursed twins for over a year. It seems that that is nearly unheard of, and I did it. I fought hard to make it this far. We had setbacks. I’ve lived on lactation cookies, fenugreek supplements, and EMAB MilkMaid tea.
So, why does this make me so sad? I feel like I’m losing a bond that has tied us together for over a year. I’m saddened that my babies are now toddlers. (Don’t get me wrong. I DO NOT have baby fever. My hands are full and my heart is overflowing.) More than that, I just don’t know. I don’t know why it is such a kick in the gut.
My once snugly little boys now rarely let me cuddle them. There are trucks to push, animal sounds to be made, and things to climb. Mamas “num nums” are no longer needed, they slow them down. Such is life I suppose. Sigh.